Monday [Part 1 of the Goa mini series]

I have to start this one with 2 announcements. One, yesterday was Jhayu’s birthday. He is one year closer to hitting puberty. Two, from now Lil Nat will be known as Bunny Singh. Now that we have these out of the way lets get started people, what the hell are we waiting for?

Well this part as you can read clearly, if not get your eyes checked, is supposed to tell you what I did in Goa. But it won’t. Then why the fuck am I wasting your time? Because others have better things to do. Anyway now that I have set the right expectations let me proceed.

So where was I? Right. I was in bed. I had spent most of Sunday evening shopping for important things to take on the trip. So I woke up and gave my packed suitcase/ backpack/ garbage bag, it suffers from identity crisis, a finishing touch. Then went through usual boring routine of getting ready for work. All set to leave I picked up my backpack and “Snap!”, one of the straps came off. Gah! The people at G******o make awesome bags. They look good. They are built to withstand the battering journeys. They keep anything you keep inside them safe. But, all of the above is valid as long as you don’t lift the backpack. Once you lift the backpack on your shoulders everything falls apart! I had the same exact problem with the bag on my last trip and I had given it to them for repairs. They had promised me that it was fixed. Apparently I and G******o are not on the same plane when it comes to defining “fixed”.

So I did what most people do. I fixed it by looping strap through the hoops and tying it in knots. There, now that’s what I call “fixed”. Morons. Put on my spanking new sunglasses, yes I finally gave up and bought the KC ones, and headed to work. There was too much excitement at work for productivity. We pretty much killed time till it was well and truly dead. We killed it again just to be sure. And again. It was finally saved from more violations when they called us to board the bus.

The 100+ employees of P******m crammed in to the two buses and we headed to the railway station, which seemed to be halfway between Mumbai and Goa. It took us like an hour to get there! Just as we trudged off the bus and thought the worst part was over, well it obviously wasn’t. Indian Railways seems to have developed a sense of humor. Either that or Lalu is trying to land the role of the Riddler in the next Batman movie. Every bogie has a chart on it with names of the passengers. Whats so funny or cryptic about that you ask? Well it turned out that each and every one found their names on 3 to 5 bogies. I mean seriously WTF is with that. What followed was utter chaos.

So first I boarded the AC chair car. Then I was told to go to the AC Sleeper. Went there only to be told we need to go to the 10th sleeper bogey. Reached there to be told that I am supposed to be in the middle one. Reached there only to find out I have to go to the AC Char car. Gah! And all this was done with my backpack on my back. So I was doomed to spend the night with other P******mers in the chair car, sitting till we reached Goa at around 5 am. BTW the train was called Gareeb Rath. Some Gareeb Rath it was! I cant believe how they pull this one off at such ridiculously low fares. Any way that’s none of my business. It was my first train trip in a long long time and it was quite enjoyable. We played Uno, teen patti, poker all night long as obviously we couldn’t sleep, much to the dismay of others who had the misfortune of being in the same coach and had intentions of sleeping. Tough luck.

Around midnight 3 guys came to us. They were sent to teach us how to tie knots. WTF?? I can tie my shoelaces quite well but yea I guess I could do with some tips on tying a knot. The necktie knot I mean. But it turned that to tie a knot and to knot a tie and two different things altogether. They taught me 6 knots. I cant remember the name of any one of them. Lets not even talk about the tying of knots parts. At 4:30 we reached goa. Rest will follow later.

64 thoughts on “Monday [Part 1 of the Goa mini series]

  • Preeti

    im at home with a mug of coffee and some delicious veg and cheese sandwiches and reading your post…
    wah kya life hai!!!
    aur kya mast likha hai…
    cheh…love predominates again…:(

  • rabbit

    for 2 years i have been tryin to go to GOA..something always comes up.maybe this new year i can make it.

    nicely explained this part one of the mini series..has build up the excitement 😀

  • Deepali

    I had a fab time on the bus (except the heat). Was sitting with Sumita and we went mad laughing.

    The train was so much better than I expected man. Sucks that we were in AC Chair rather than the sleepers but it’s okay.

    A bunch of us were actually glad those guys came in the early hours to teach us the knots cause we were so bored (didn’t have uno card or normal cards you see).

    Oh and I should tell you about the compartment we (some 3 others and me) were suppose to sit in. It was crazy. Ask me in person if you want to know (and don’t already).

  • Jhayu

    crammed in to the two buses and we headed to the railway station, which seemed to be halfway between Mumbai and Goa. It took us like an hour to get there!

    Now you know how I feel every single day.

  • Neeku

    your bag experience reminds me of my Abso-F*cking-lutely horrifit (not horrific !) trip back to US… the sleek black bag breaks into two pieces where it breaks just when I enter the boring zone of boarding where there are no shops to buy another bag ! Where I wait 2 hours sipping 3 cups of Starbucks Soy chai latte … cursing and cussing the F*cking universe to conspire against me =(

  • Che


    Woh kehte hain na, Grass is always greener on the other side. My life isnt as much fun as reading about it may suggest 😛

    Yes I ended up buying KCs, they are nice too. I will also buy aviators I am sure, OCTSD will have its way.

    Tying the knot part was a part of our offsite training. Why middle of night? That only the management of P******m can answer.


    You are not the only one my friend. I tried and tried to go to goa for 4 years but every time i made a plan something went wrong. This was my first trip to goa and no wonder it wasnt planned by me!


    Haha well all mysteries will be solved with time 🙂

    BTW those 100 bucks would have bought me 4 pints of beer in goa 🙁


    Sumita’s laughing has nothing to do with weather or place or situation. She is an Obsessive Compulsive Laugher! Hell she could laugh her way through a funeral!

    Ah you could have asked, we had plenty of card packs with us. And no I dont know what happened in your compartment probably because I was too busy lugging my backpack between the compartments for half of the trip. But now I want to know!

    @Jhayu aka Sweet Looking Boy :

    Dude I pity you for everything.


    Well all i can say is just wait and wait and wait and read. Sorry!


    Ah so you know the feeling. Thanks to G******o I expect it to happen on every trip. BTW Starbucks Soy chai latte sound absolutley disgusting!

  • Che


    Like I said I was born this way…


    In the 4 years I was in US i never even stepped in to a Starbucks. I used to hate coffee at that time so i will take your word for it. But now I enjoy black coffee. As far as tea is concerned I make some awesome chai. its yum!

  • Preeti

    shut up and be serious for once…

    the reason why i asked is because i have to do just that…
    and thats whats got me so crabby since morning…


    anyway…i got a befitting answer from the gyaani himself…

    and i guess, yeah…there is some amount of laziness and fear thats coming in the way…

    and i am sorry to go off tangent in the midst of a beautiful, funny post…

  • Che


    Well Ms Roy we all face this problem everyday. Every time we realise there is a fault within us and we need to change ourselves, we dont because we are lazy (it would take a lot of effort to change our nature/habit) and we are afraid (we feel we are not strong enough to change ourselves).

    But its worth the effort. Not that I change changed myself but I have told a lot of people to change their ways.

    @d sinner:

    Before this trip even I was J of everyone who had been there so you all my empathy. I would say forget about planning a trip there, just throw in some clothes in a bag and head out. You will get there eventually if you are lucky!

    patience my child. Ill try and have it up by tonight (depending upon work)


    Well G******o needed some bad publicity so I just had to.
    Goa is coming up dear. soon very soon.
    BTW those who know how to find things on internet might be able to locate my goa pictures on a photo sharing service and also on a social networking site.

  • Che


    aww dear. well if you supply me with a regular updates of blogs i will share them with you 😛


    Finally the Truth prevails 😉

  • Che


    No its not an age things, its a responsibility thing…You feel responsible towards others who need you hence you think you cant enjoy chaos travel…which is right, you need to take care of your kid and thats most important.

  • Neeku

    this is the irony… my parents didn’t let me drink chai or coffee… even when i was older…. i never had chai in india… finally when i came to US.. I had my first chai with my roomate… at the age of 24!!!!!!!

    Now I am sucker for Desi chai… i make with ginger… but you have any other recipe… send it…

  • Che


    My parents had same misconception about alcohol!

    Well I make mine with ginger and cardamom. Just tastes and smells better. and I use actual milk and not soy milk…ewww. what do you drink there? 2%? 😛

  • Still thinking

    Belated b’day wishes Jhayu 🙂

    Che,$%#7**$@**@@^ (read it as you want) – why the hell are you making us wait so much to reach Goa, I believe you reached much faster than the time you hv made us wait for the post? I want to read calamaris, beaches, massages, toto’s and vodka shots 🙂

    I can’t believe you guys play Uno 😀

  • Che


    I am sure there is a compliment in there somewhere! Dont worry a blog will be up before I eat or sleep tonight 🙁

    We were so bored we could have played with barbies!

  • Bubbly Vodka

    Happy budday Jhayu!

    Oh this was a company trip sorts? I thought it was a friends and fun trip. Whatever, Goa must have been good in any case I am thinking.

    And I miss playing Tambola Indian trains.

  • mystiquedew


    ’em pics are the coolestttttttttt! I love the doggie and dineout place ye all went to…

    And the burnt nose pic..hehehehhehehhehehehhehehehhehehehe

    lovely lovely pics 🙂 🙂

  • Che


    your compliments made me blush 😛

    Oh well we were still slaves to clients whims and fancies between 9:30 pm and 6:30 am 🙁


    uhoh…now dont you go photoshopping them 😛

    blog woman blog 😛

  • Jhayu

    @ Che.
    Che said…
    I have been calling him Sweet Looking Boy since last night 😀

    Dude. Do not EVER say that again.

    @ mystiquedew, still thinking, bubbly vodka.
    Thanks for the wishes! You know, it’d be easier to see that on my blog. I don’t trawl Che’s comment threads that much.

  • Zubin

    “Around midnight 3 guys came to us”

    I just could not get over this line.. 😛 😀

    You go to goa…for WORK..are you out your freakin mind..?? 😛

  • Narain

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    Visit this site and experience the new ways to find the trains and their availability.

  • Cess

    ok ok, so i finally start by part 1 Goa 🙂 Very funny, well I guess it was maybe not funny for u the day u actually walk miles in the actual train to finally get ur seat with ur ‘broken-fix’ bagpack 😀


    PS: like the way u write 🙂

  • Isha

    Ahh Goa…my first loveeeee..
    I go 2 times a year without fail!! Only place in India to get drunk cheap and care a dammmm…Btw ur posts r realllyyy funny…made my morning or rather night 🙂 Now u ll khao bhav on this also…


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