Today was a dry day. No silly, the liquor shops weren’t closed, it did not rain today! Last week monsoon decided to go in to reverse gear and since then it’s been raining cats and dogs here every single day. Retreating monsoon they call it, Replay monsoon might be more befitting.
Talking about dogs reminds of this incident the other night. Dogs are said to be intelligent creatures. Why? That’s something I never figured out. Let’s see what intelligent things dogs do. Sniff and hump anything and everything. Bark at anything that moves or doesn’t. Smell your way to your chosen pooping/peeing spot. Bark. Do what you want especially if you have been told not to. Bark Again. Chew whatever catches your fancy. Bark more. Chase your own tail. Bark Bark Bark. Oh and did I mention, lick your own unmentionables? Hmm, pretty darn intelligent. If those are the signs of intelligence it’s no wonder that Women think of us Men as morons.
The other night I encountered the Einstein of Dogs. Don’t believe me? Keep reading and decide for yourself. As usual I left office at around 4 am and walked home. So I walked with a friend till the main road where we part ways. So we stopped at the corner as he was buying some cigarettes. So he was telling me something. And I was just tired and looking around. Guess what I saw? A dog! I am not kidding; I saw a stray dog sitting few feet away from us looking at me. I looked at him. He looked at me. We looked at each other. This became a lets-see-who-blinks-first battle. That son of a bitch won.
Any way so my friend finished what he was saying and we parted ways. I walked past the dog towards my building which was still 5 minutes away. A little later I felt as if I was being followed. I turned around and saw the same dog walking few meters behind me. Just a coincidence? I kept walking but something kept bothering me. I passed two buildings and then stopped. When I turned around the dog was still following. Now either this dog was street smart or had seen too many whodunit movies. He slyly walked past me as if I didn’t exist. I thought I was being paranoid and continued to walk past him. Few more buildings down I had that familiar feeling again. I turned around. And there was he like a loyal shadow. This time I stopped and decided to wait and see what he does. This time as he walked past he looked in to my eyes again. His dark, cold eyes keeping his intent a secret. He walked to the entrance of the next building and sat there looking inside at the building. Ah silly me! His friend must be living near my building I thought and walked on. I walked next few steps looking at him to make sure he was still there. And there he sat not even bothering to steal a look at me as I walked away. When I was one building away I looked back just to settle the hair prickling at the back of my neck. I literally jumped out of my jacket! There he was just two steps behind me looking straight in to my eyes. So I decided to stay where I was. He casually walked by and went to the gate of the building just before the one where I stay. He paused there, hesitated, then turned to look at me and then walked inside that building. Phew! So he was my neighbor and I was thinking of what not. Satisfied I walked to my building but just as I was about to enter through the gates something made me stop and look back just for one last time. Holy Guacamole! There he was fearlessly looking in to my eyes again. I quickly walked towards the elevators. He hesitated but then built up his courage and quickly followed in. His hesistance gave me a precious few seconds which allowed me to calmly call the elevator down and step in to it and shut its grill gates. I waited for a few seconds for him to catch up. He didn’t disappoint me. He walked up straight to the elevator albeit very confused. This time I looked in to his eyes with a triumphant gaze and smiled. I knew I had won this battle. His intelligence was no match for my moron-ism. I punched the button for my floor and there I went and he was left behind looking at me disappear. Good luck sniffing your way to my apartment!
I went in to my apartment and changed clothes. But before I hit the bad I peeped outside. No sign of him. I slept soundly. Next morning when I woke up the first thing I did was to open the door. I totally expected him to be there. He wasn’t. I was so disappointed. That day I walked to office looking out for him. No sign of him. Later I finished my work and walked back hoping to find him again. But no such luck. Days passed and I never saw him again. How could I find him, I didn’t know where he lived. Hell, I didn’t even know his name. I guess like any noble loser he accepted his defeat to a superior being and retreated from my territory. Morons 1 Dogs 0.