I don’t remember saying “I’ll be back” but, hey, here I am. How long has it been? Three years? How many of you have died since then? I hope not many as I would like to have some comments here and there. It is a surprise that I can still string together coherent sentences. Not that it matters, you lot aren’t the sharpest tools out there any way.
So what’s in it for you? Well it is a new, improved, deluxe version of Che’s life at no extra cost to you. Though I have to pay for the bloody domain and hosting, dammit. @$@#$#!#!!!
The travel or travail from Kandivali to Santacruz has been upgraded to a life in Bandra. P******m and U**a have been replaces by 4******4. And the Goa & Delhi Diaries will be replaced with Bali Diaries (if I can recall anything from those booze soaked nights). But don’t worry, the WTFs still remain.
Let’s start with the last time I allowed my relatives to trap me. It was at a funeral. No, I wasn’t there for the food, though food does get me in to far worse situations. So I got surrounded by relatives who hadn’t seen me since my last trip home that would be roughly 2 years back. I was as overwhelmed as Japan was by that tsunami. Both situations equally destructive and desirable.
Turns out that after bugging my parents at every birthday, wedding, festival, funeral and celebration they still have no idea what the fuck I do. Well I am not an engineer/doctor/lawyer/politican/babu so must be jobless, right? Any way so after 3 days of time spent with them, mostly explaining what I do, they all have reached a conclusion that I am a businessman. Could have been worse, could have been a prostitute. Though latter would have been more accurate. Any way somehow it also led to a national level conference on why I should be married now as I am 30. I believe a panel of 10 aunts is being set up in Lucknow to tackle this global threat as we speak.
So how have you lot been? Going by the collective intelligence of the interwebz over the last 3 years I am guessing not too well. Do you guys even qualify as humans now? Thought so. Life has thrown so many curveballs my way that I am qualified to be a professional baseball player now. Haven’t exactly been hitting them out of the park but I am still batting and, ahem, still touching bases.
Wow, this writing part is harder than I remember it to be. I guess it will be a few posts till I get back in to the flow. Now if only I can motivate myself to keep writing. If I can, you will see another post. So you know what you are praying for on your next trip to the church/ temple/ mosque/ synagogue/ gurudwara right?