New! Improved! Better!

What is going on? No really? WTF is going on? I know today is optional holiday but that doesnt mean not even 20 people will show up at work!!! At least they should have told me too 🙁 Now here I am sitting at work while others are enjoying their extended weekend including some of my fans.

Rant aside. Lo behold! Here I present to you, *drum rolls*, The NEW! IMPROVED! BETTER! Delhi Diaries!!!!!!!! *insert applause, cheers, whistles and muahs*. Due to the overwhelming response to the last series and the the sad shit of a life all of you are living through, i decided to make your life a little less miserable and give you what you *really* *really* wanted. Though I should have waited till Christmas to give you all this gift. Any way so this Dilli Diaries is going to cover the time I had at Baba’s big, fat, punjabi wedding.

Feb 11th was a Black Wednesday at P******m. I wouldn’t go in to what happened because I don’t want to go over that even in my memory. So fuck it all. I told them I am going on leave from next day and left office. Reached home around 3 am. Had a flight at 10 am. Packed and Slept. Woke up and left. Reached airport with plenty time in hand. Had a usual black coffee. waited for flight which obviously was late. Wasn’t turning out to be a great day. Had an expensive sandwich for lunch. Flight ran in to turbulence.

Landed. Called up Baba. He gave me directions. Took a cab to DLF and got lost. Was on phone with Baba for a long time before I notice a familiar face. Baba! We met like two teenage girls who have lots of gossip to share. Grabbed my luggage and moved in to his house which I forgot to talk about in the last Dilli Diaries.

I think I am in love. Yes I am in love. Totally. With his house obviously. *sigh* I dream about it. Its just so perfect! Right from Wooden staircase to the fireplace in living room to the mumbai-bedroom-sized bathrooms. *sigh* Someone recently married Eiffel Tower. If in 6 years no woman can convince me to marry her I think I will marry the house!

His Mom and Dad looked harrowed with all the wedding preparations but welcomed me with a big smile. And guess who else I met? Bighead!!!! yea thats what we call his younger brother. Bighead had come down from Philly just a few days back for this. He was packing sweets for the cocktail party in the night in to decorative boxes. So I helped him by eating a little and packing a lot of them.

Post lunch I was supposed to move to a guest house near by where I was to stay. But since Bighead’s friend, lets call her SS, was supposed to arrive by train we had to head out to pick her up first. What happened next? Ah fuck too bored to type. Heading home now.

26 thoughts on “New! Improved! Better!

  • sanely insane

    wooden staircase…

    hmm hmm hmm (imagining it in his mind)…

    i always imagined mine to be a studio apt…with a basement that could be accessed by sliding down the firestation type ka pole

    and a double door fridge…wat cloth closets are to women…fridges are to men

  • Running in circles.

    Why is it that women have to convince men about their worth.
    Especially the real men out there 🙁
    The rest don’t even care enough if you’re woman or drain pipe :

    But well its a good thing.
    I hope you find someone willing enough to give what you would want to XD

    And yes don’t marry the house.
    Really, it won’t laugh at your jokes when you’re back for the night 🙂

  • Anonymous

    Marry the house ! I curse as you left the post with What-the-flower-I-don’t-give-a-flower-to-my-Oh-So-Loyal-Readers attitude !

    should have finished the post naa ?

    Kiyan yaar… read like 250 words for no ending =/ ! Picture abhi baki hai ! ka dialogue jaisa


  • Jhayu

    @ Maniak.
    Stop crying. We told you we weren’t coming. You wanted to act all high and mighty and come to work. Screw you. This is the problem with some Senior Citizens. They whine.

    We met like two teenage girls who have lots of gossip to share
    What do you mean like? =p

    @ Sanely Insane.
    Duuuude! Would sliding down the pole also find you in full costume in the basement?

  • sanely insane


    u sure thats what u hope to find?

    i was thinking more in terms of a bar…a drum set…a car garage…a lathe machine…and a boxing bag…
    and disco lights to be used as a dance floor on party nights

  • tj

    Marriage???? I thought u were not into the whole emotional attachment bit of relationships…”was a bit tying down” nahi???
    N why the hell everyone of these GenX ppl busy tying the knot all of the sudden?? I say jus steer away from Shaadi capital dude.. 😉

  • Tazeen

    You should have sold this idea for money, you know the marrying the house idea. In any case, if you have the house, chicks will follow. I am a girl and I know what i am talking about, it is the house that maketh a man.

  • Che


    I still havent figured out where to put the engagement ring 🙁 besides the house is only 4 years old, so 14 years till it reaches legal age no?


    I could put up the theory of relativity here and my fans would find it funny.

    @the sanely insane:

    Somehow the idea of sliding down a pole with my legs and arms wrapped around it doesnt appeal to me…

  • Che


    Finding willing women who give me what I want is not that hard 😛

    When I return home at night, telling jokes is not exactly what i have on mind :-/

    @anonymous neeku:

    Awww i am so sorry! But yea I was quite pissed and left in a huff. Don;t worry more updates to follow soon!!!


    If* there is a BIG IF 😛

  • Che


    Oye guys dont gossip, they discuss 😛
    Nah I think I would let all the girl’s parents worry for 6 more years 😉

    I think the words you were looking for are “mature”, “responsible” and “professional” 😛


    Long time no news!!!
    Everyone around me is getting married so had a rush of insanity. Better sense has prevailed since then 😉

  • Che


    Yes dear, its not complete I know. Didnt feel like completing it as I was not happy with the crap I wrote. I think it is terrible. But wanted to put up something for people to read over the weekend 🙁


    Hmmm well arent the parents of all girls sold on this idea already, now having good education, good family and a good job isnt enough. Having your own house is the key. Luckily apart from good family I escape conviction on all other counts 😀

  • Che


    Cadbury’s pays me money to use those words once in a while. Apparently every time I use those words the sales of chocolates goes up as women struggle to cope with heartbreak.

  • sanely insane

    if i were tht creative…i would be into copy writing too…lord knows am crazy enuf 😛

    though i thought Jhayu had done that part..didnt think nebody else would go the same way again 😛

  • Che


    Who said you need to be creative to be in to copywriting 😉


    Oh I am sure you dont wanna see that!

  • Che


    Your concept of entertainment is warped 😛


    Do you use a template and copy paste “:DDDDDD” or is that a signature?


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