When International goes Local.

Post my BEST trauma revelation, people have been recommending the Mumbai local trains. Been there done that and survived it too! I don’t like to travel by locals because I am not a very adventurous person. I don’t get along very well with the rest of my body but I still like it attached to me very much. And being so popular doesn’t help either.

A couple of days back I had to go to Thane for some work. Since I had to be there by 5 pm I had planned to leave office by 3:30 pm, head to borivali and take a bus from there. That was the only was I knew to get to Thane. Till I ran in to KKK.

KKK (real name withheld as nickname is too funny :D) is a fellow copywriter at P*******m and every day somehow he manages to drag his ass all the way to Santacruz from Thane and still has energy to go back at night. If it was me in his place I would have probably thought β€œFuck It” and then gone to a bar and passed out there.

Any way so I decided to utilise the experience that KKK seemed to have in such mysterious matters. Turned out he was also leaving for home early so he decided to accompany me. Yay! Now I could not get lost.

So we left office and took a local from Khar station to Dadar. This wasn’t too bad. There was barely anyone in it. No rush to get in no rush to get out. Not bad at all. I could travel like this everyday! Unfortunately this was just a strange aberration as I was to find out later.

We got off at Dadar. WTF! Holy shit. The number of people swarming this one was unbelievable! I was completely and thankful for KKK’s company. We went over to the harbour line and were to catch a train to Thane from there. A train was arriving and I was expecting myself to get on it without much inconvenience. I hate to admit it but there are very rare moments when I have been more wrong.

It was the fast local. Long before the train had slowed down there was a already clumps of bodies all over it that looked to be distinctly human. We turned and looked. The platform had becomes eerily empty. We didn’t even bother and walked over to the other side where the slower local was coming.

Right there saw a guy selling chana chat thing. I was hungry. It looked edible. So I bought some. KKK wanted some too so we asked him to make more. Suddenly out of nowhere the train decided to arrive so we hurried towards the train. There was some crowd but nothing compared to the last one.

So I confirmed with KKK that we will be taking this train and I hopped on to train and moved away from the entrance. Turned around to find the compartment full of strange faces and not even one familiar one. Wait a minute…..WTF! Where was KKK?

Looked out of the entrance and saw him standing on the platform. He yelled he will get on the next train. Right. That was some relief. So I found myself in a train compartment full of strangers with my D2 plugged in to my ears and holding chana in one hand and my phone in other.

And just like that all eyes were upon me. The looks I got would have put a hungarian hooker to shame. I wouldn’t have minded it if it wasn’t for the fact that every single of these was coming from men. That gave me the heebijeebies. Needless to say I spent rest of the trip staring out of the compartment.

It took forever but Thane did come and I managed to get off the train unmolested. Waited for KKK to arrive. Narrated my horror story and he laughed. He said this was nothing and I should try and crowded train on my way back.

Obviously I returned by Bus πŸ˜›

PS: Now i go back every day in train but I leave office so late so it actually is quite convenient and saves loads of time which I never manage to spend sleeping.

35 thoughts on “When International goes Local.

  • Running in circles.


    I’m listening to yeh dil na hota bechara on the stereo.
    Oh and btw isso sad and what dyooh expect in a City that has the biggest cult in asia(referGayBombayAssociation)
    Its so freaky and all the sexually frustrated women who think they’re bi and give us a hard time 😐


    Getting stared at is so weird man.
    Its actually depressing when you can’t figure why.

    Ohmygod you actually wrote πŸ˜›
    I should be appointed to encourage you to update :O

  • sanely insane

    i must boast in self glory to say that i’ve used those local pretty effectively in my two years there…though god was quite on my side…even at unholy hours 1 at night or 4 in morning was never accosted by gays, hookers or thugs…

    was helped, cursed, spoken to as a friend in gujju, marathi and other languages i don’t understand (but a smile and a nod..gets u thru…they dont expect u to talk back just to listen to them)

    though ofcourse my good luck didnt save me from getting into the fish mongers dabba on the harbour line…most treacherous 30 minutes i spent

  • Preeti

    ohhhh you have started going back by train…? really…?
    how come…?

    and you conceited conceited man…?
    cheh!!! anyway! that cant be changed so why hit a wall.

    i loved the part where all those men were staring at you…HAHAHA!!!

    well…local trains are really cool if they are not crowded. :p but yeah…the ladies compartment is pretty non-threatening.

    in fact if it is empty thats when i get the heebiejeebies…

    PS: nice read!!! made me smile…and laugh in that order…


  • Che


    Oh that song is older than even me!
    I like the song though.
    If i had to listen to hindi music i would listen to that era.

    The problem with attention is that when you want it you dont get it and when you get it you dont want it.

    oh I love my fans and I do such favors once in a while, but dont count on it πŸ˜›


    Traveling in first class during off peak hours does not constitute the real mumbai local experience. Thats what I make my friends do when they visit mumbai and insist of traveling in local, especially women. Dont want them to be scarred for life!

    Good thing about looking like me is that people may stare all they want but they dont try and converse πŸ˜€

    Haha why the fuck would you do that??


    Because of salary cuts πŸ˜›
    The choice was between less alcohol and traveling by train. So I took the hard decision.
    Who in their right mind would threaten YOU!!!

  • sanely insane

    eh oh…u think i’d pay 80 bucks to go from andheri to churchgate when i could do the same in 8!!!

    not only was i on a student budget then…i also enjoy the whole your sweat in my nose, my sweat down your hair kind of thing

    why would i do that u ask..why eh…coz i got my batchmate onto the ladies compartment and then the only place where i could still find a place to get onto was the small luggage compartment where the gol gappa chap (pani puri to u ppl) stood next to the dhobi beneath whom was sitting the macchi bai πŸ˜› there were cycles, toys…the whole commercial world had congregated in that compartment…but the fish…it reeked!!!

  • Zlaek

    This whole thing is so funny

    It's so amusing to see beginners struggling here at Mumbai.

    "…..I wouldn't have minded it if it wasn't for the fact that every single of these was coming from men." <--- aaaahahaaha Well written, could almost picture it all happening.

  • Che


    Ah when I started with my 8k a month job i did my share of that too πŸ˜›

    Dude you could have shopped and got some good deal! fresh machchi for dinner πŸ˜‰


    Beginner!! I have been struggling here for over 4 years now πŸ™

    You can picture what I write?
    That rules out writing about shower problems then πŸ˜›

  • Preeti

    aah…the salary cuts…but what with the timings that you keep…trains are pretty enterable during those hours…

    you choosing train goes without saying, baba…you neednt mention it, you know…


  • Zlaek

    “… people have been recommending the Mumbai local trains”
    Therefore i thought beginner πŸ˜›

    Actually that rules out writing about a lot of other things too.. πŸ˜€ Textual offender 😐

    Oh, and by the way, if I ever saw you anywhere outside, I’d be scared ha.

  • Che


    I only return by train and since I work till late thats never a problem πŸ˜›
    You know exactly what i mean.


    With that hard name you better be born in poland πŸ˜›

    But that would make my blog redundant so I guess I will let your imagination scare you πŸ˜›

    Oh if you recognised me somewhere outside I would be scared too πŸ˜›


    Well this blog *is* the unofficial guide to survival in life for lesser mortals.
    Maybe i should make this pay per view?


    Hmm even if they offered I wouldnt know. My D2 was blaring in my ears no?

  • Che


    I did the world a huge favor by being born too πŸ˜›

    Sorry but i cant listen to anything that cannot annoy my parents and other humans :-/


    I hope I didnt blow away any bits and pieces of your πŸ™


    I wouldnt say why dont you find out for yourself πŸ˜›


    You have no choice.

  • Deepali

    So are you traveling by train regularly now?

    I guess everyone was staring because they weren’t sure if they should throw you off or go down on their knees and start praying πŸ˜›

  • Che


    What are you implying πŸ˜› I have been busy…


    Most lucid you have been!


    Well they arent doing a great job at it!
    Obviously the correct choice is latter. but when you are standing is such a way that you are hugging atleast 5 people its very hard to bow down no?

  • Running in circles.


    Well anything that has workmanship is tolerable.
    Those who don’t know it, can’t identify πŸ˜›
    Read:Parents and humans.

    Yes its a good thing you were born.
    At least we have young people wanting to be responsible and old πŸ˜›
    Please don’t be working today πŸ˜€

  • Che



    I *AM* old and responsible.
    Ok maybe not latter yet but i am getting there.
    I already hvae 2 white hair in my moonchch πŸ™

    Nope i didnt work on weekend. hell i didnt do anything on it!

  • Anonymous

    I would like to see this hungarian hooker πŸ˜› Seems cute to me..Kindly post ur photo..
    P.S Dont worry I am a girl πŸ™‚

  • Che


    One trip in the local was enough to send her running to some remote monastery in belgium.

    You think, as conceited as i am, i dont any photos on my blog??? just keep reading and discovering πŸ˜›

    PS: Since you are a girl, YOU need to worry πŸ˜›

  • Payal

    Trust me Che, I have seen scary ppl as I have travelled via local trains for a major part of my college life. I have seen ppl who look high and dry and ready to pounce on u. So I dont need to worry. Maybe what u r calling scary can be treat to some1’s eyes. Think about it. Take Care πŸ˜›

  • Che


    Assuming Anonymous and Payal to be one and same…
    Hmm a local train veteran eh?
    Damn you must be tough.
    BTW they worry part was not insinuating that that you should worry because I look scary but because I am so awesome that women get in to trouble πŸ˜›

  • Payal

    aah..I didnt intend to give away my name..but hell who cares πŸ™‚
    Regarding getting into trouble owing to your awesomeness, dont worry, I have some experience of ‘escaping’ in that department too πŸ˜›

  • Che

    @payal who is anonymous

    Ah well whats is a name, I have more than enough to name a small country!

    Ah well escaping from mere mortals is a frivolous thing dear πŸ˜›

    Hope you found enough pics to have second thoughts πŸ˜‰

    PS : Now I work in powai so train is ruled out for good πŸ˜›


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